Soul-Ties

Soul-ties are in no way connected to soul mates or twin flames. In my opinion, those two concepts are demonic in nature and are in no way connected to soul-ties. A soul-tie is any relationship where two become one in mind, body, or emotions. It’s an invisible attachment that ties us to another person. Soul-ties can be a healthy and useful part of God’s plan for relationships because a soul-tie joins or knits together bonds of a relationship by the Holy Spirit.Godly soul-ties occur when like-minded believers are joined together in the Lord. Some examples are friends, marriage partners, believers with other believers, and family members. Some examples in the Bible can be found in Genesis 2:24, Mark 10:8, 1 Samuel 18:1, and Ephesians 5:31.

Ungodly Soul-Ties

This type of bond can form when the relationship is unhealthy and one or both individuals are controlling, manipulative, or dominating over the other. This can also happen in romantic relationships when there is sex outside of marriage. When we step outside of God’s boundaries for relationships, we can form an ungodly soul-tie. Ungodly soul-ties are counterfeit to God’s plan and are enforced by demons meant to enslave us through the unhealthy relationship.

Do you not know that the one who joins himself to a prostitute is one body with her? For He says, “The two shall be one flesh.” 1 Corinthians 6:16, AMP.

Ungodly soul-ties can be formed with the following people: friends, spouse, parents, children, romantic or sexual partners, siblings, domineering authorities, pastors/ministry leaders, and through abusive relationships. If one or both people cross the boundary of a healthy relationship, an ungodly soul-tie can form. When ungodly soul-ties or unhealthy attachments with another person is in effect, it can bring about spiritual control that can adversely affect our lives. They can create a lot of emotional pain and bondage that, if not broken, can last for years even after the relationship has ended.

Symptoms of Ungodly Soul-Ties

Our minds can be flooded with thoughts of them, and even when we try to stop thinking of them, we cannot make the thoughts stop. We may have ended the relationship, but still cannot get them off our mind. We constantly wonder who they are now with and what they now are doing.

We cannot imagine our life without the other person in it. We may feel obsessed or addicted to the person or they may seem to be addicted or obsessed with us. We may feel trapped in the relationship because we want out but cannot seem to break away from them. Codependency may be the hallmark of the relationship.

The relationship has one or more of the following present: manipulation, domination, and control. Emotional and/or physical abuse may also be present.

We start to change for the other person or become like them and the changes are for the worse and not for the better. We take on their negative traits and lose ourselves in the process.

The other person may be physically or emotionally abusive, but we do not feel like we can leave them. Everyone else can see how bad they are for us and how toxic the relationship is, but we just cannot seem to see it. We excuse their behavior and often blame ourselves for the way they treat us. It is like we are blind when it comes to the other person and how bad the relationship is for us.

We may also have recurring dreams about them that are chronic and painful in nature, even years after we have ended the relationship. They may feel like torment and leave us with lingering negative emotions even after we wake up.

We may feel like we can never tell the other person “no” or even share our real feelings with them because we fear hurting their feelings. We may be hyper protective of them and take it upon ourselves to make them happy and keep them safe even at the expense of our own safety and happiness.

This list is not exhaustive, but one of the main things to look for is the inability to let the person go and move on from the relationship. This would be for a romantic relationship, friendship, or any other type of relational connection that is physically/emotionally damaging and/or unhealthy.

Breaking Ungodly Soul-Ties

The first step to breaking the ungodly soul-ties in our lives is to acknowledge them. Next, we must destroy or give away any gifts given to us by the other person. Items include any that symbolize the ungodly practices in the past and present relationships such as rings, flowers, cards, sexual items, gifts, or pictures because they can hold a soul-tie in place if not let go. The next step is to renounce any vows or commitments made that played a part in forming the ungodly soul-tie. Even things like, “I will love you forever,” “I could never love another person,” “I cannot live without them in my life,” or “You are my best friend, and I will never have anyone as close to me as you,” need to be renounced. They are spoken commitments that need to be verbally undone, broken, and severed.

When breaking the ungodly soul-ties, we must make sure to include anyone we have had a sexual encounter with both willing and/or forced. Also, include any nonsexual relationships where there was control, manipulation, and dominance, including friendships, family members, ministers, and those in authority over us.

This prayer and renunciation will cancel consent that was granted through the ungodly soul-ties. The following is just an outline to get you started; be sure to use your own words and spend time verbally praying as the Lord leads.

“God, I thank you for being the King over all things. You are my Creator, and I am Your creation. You are the King of my heart and my life. You are all knowing, and You know any ungodly soul-ties that have formed in my life and that need to be broken. I ask You to show me anyone I have an ungodly soul-tie with that needs to be broken. Whether they created it with me or me with them I pray You would show them all to me. God, please forgive me for any of the ways that I opened the door for the ungodly soul-ties to be formed with (name of person). God, show me what sins I committed in my relationship with this person. (Ask God to forgive each sin He reveals to you.) God, show me what I need to forgive (name of person) of so that I can be healed and free of the pain connected to this experience. Lord, I do not want for (name of person) to have control over me and I do not want to have control over (name of person). Forgive me for the sin of entangling myself with (name of person) in an ungodly way. Lord, I confess these ungodly ties as sin and ask that You forgive me and cleanse me of all unrighteousness and my poor choices. I now ask You to break every ungodly soul-tie. In the name of Jesus Christ, I break and renounce the ungodly soul-tie between me and (name of person). I surrender my heart, soul, and spirit completely to Jesus Christ and His authority in my life. I ask You Lord to call back any parts of me that was given to anyone else, and I refuse and send back any parts of anyone that may have come to me. I put the cross of Jesus Christ between me and (name of person). I denounce soul-ties with (name of person) and choose to be free from them in the name of Jesus Christ. Lord, I ask You to heal my heart of the effects this ungodly soul-tie has had on my heart, mind, body, spirit, and life. Lord, please restore my soul and my relationship with You completely. Lord, I ask You to make me whole and restore everything that the enemy stole from me. Set me free to love You with my whole heart and love others with a Christ-like love that is healthy and godly. In the name of Jesus I pray, Amen.”

Contact After the Ungodly Soul-Tie is Broken

There are times that you may have had a very unhealthy relationship with someone close to you, a family member for example. It is possible after the ungodly soul-tie is broken that the two of you can again have a healthy relationship. Always seek God and His will for your relationships and what His plan is for them because He can bring healing to any situation, but there are times we must totally separate from the other person. That is why we must always pray and ask God for guidance, so we stay within His will for the relationship.

I am going to include a personal example to show how ungodly soul-ties can look in real life. When I was a young child and being abused by my biological father, he would tell me if I told anyone what he was doing he would kill my mom. Because of being told that over and over, it created an unhealthy, ungodly soul-tie to my mom. It wasn’t based on her actions or mine, but it formed from an abusive situation. As an adult, I could not have open conversations with her because I had a crippling fear that I would hurt her feelings. I could never tell her “no” to anything she asked me, not that she was demanding at all, but just in general I could never say “no”, and I was always ready to physically fight anyone who even looked at her sideways. I also could not live far from her. The thought of being separated would almost send me into a panic attack. I considered her my best friend, but the entire relationship was not unhealthy, only certain aspects were unhealthy. When the Lord revealed to me that the unhealthy part of our relationship was an ungodly soul-tie, I prayed for Him to break it. As soon as I prayed, I felt a severing in the spiritual realm and I also felt a shift in our relationship. All the unhealthy feelings I had in connection to my mom immediately fell off and we were finally able to have the healthy relationship that God intended for it be.

I share this example to show that once the ungodly soul-ties are broken there are some relationships that can be healthy and grow in the Lord. My mom is still my best friend, after my husband as it should be, and we have open, honest conversations and healthy boundaries.

Blessings,

Nichole Henson, Fullness of Joy Ministry