History of Abuse

I am a childhood incest survivor. My biological father sexually abused me for several years. As a result of that abuse I ended up with numerous lifelong issues. (You will hear and see me talk about my dad helping me though the prayer session that set me free, he is my stepdad, but I call him dad. He is the one who has been my father since I was 12 years old. He was not my abuser in any way.)

Effects of Abuse

Clinical Depression: Prior to being set free I cannot remember a time when I was not in deep depression. I felt the fog and despair of depression daily. I often fought the urge to kill myself. I would constantly hear voices telling me to die and that everyone would be better if I were dead. Severe depression is physically painful. It hurts your entire body. I always felt like I was falling into a deep, dark, bottomless hole and I was barely holding on by the very tips of my fingernails.

Dissociative Identity Disorder (formally called Multiple Personality Disorder) : I was diagnosed with DID when I was in my mid 20’s. I was taught that a splinter in personality can happen when a person is abused. I heard voices for as long as I can remember, and they always seemed to be part of me so the diagnosis made perfect sense to me. I heard numerous voices in my head. Some were very angry, some were very protective (to the point of hating everyone else around me), some were very anti God and one was like a young child. Some of them were very aggressive if anyone tried to take advantage of me or hurt me in any way. They would also say awful things about me-no one loves you; God does not love you, you are never enough, you never do enough, etc.

PTSD: I had so many triggers: food, smells, sounds, tv shows, words, clothes-the list is endless. They controlled my life as well as my husbands. He was always very careful to avoid them and they ruled our lives.

Eating Disorder: When I was a teen I was diagnosed with anorexia, but it turned into binge eating and overeating when I got pregnant with my son. Food was literally my drug of choice. I had addictive behaviors related to food: binging, hiding food, hiding how much I was eating, not being able to sleep until I consumed all of the sweets in the house, the list goes on and on.

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder: I counted constantly, and I also had several other tics.

Things moved in my room: As a teenager I can remember going to bed with a ring and wake up and have it gone. I would look all over the place but could not find it anywhere. A few days later it would be laying on my pillow or on my dresser. This happened several times and it also happened to friends who stayed the night at my house.

Saw things, felt things: My entire life I have seen and heard things. I would see shadows walking around and at times I would even see what looked like people walking in my house. I would hear scratching on my walls. I would also hear people walking up to my bed, only to turn around and no one be there. On day, my husband was in the bathroom and the shower curtain opened the entire way. Another time he let our dogs out and something opened the sliding glass door and let them back in. I could always feel things right behind me to the point of making the hair on the back of my neck standing up.

Extreme fear: I had extreme fear for as long I can remember. I could not sleep in the dark or even be in a room in the dark. For many years I could not even take a shower without Ronnie being in the room with me. I would be so scared I would break out in cold sweats.

Many bad choices: older men, drugs, drinking-before getting saved

Very low self-esteem: I did not care about my body and I often struggled with hating myself.

Cut: I used to cut, and I would go though times where I would do it very often. I often used a craft knife that I bought for the purpose of cutting. If I were extremely stressed cutting would calm me down.

Salvation

I gave my heart to the Lord when I was 18 years old and I would love to say everything was suddenly great, but it was not. I was going to heaven, but I was still living in torment.

Continued Mental and Demonic Issues: I continued to have all the symptoms of mental illness and I also started having physical issues. I also continued to hear, see, and feel things.

Church: When I would go to the church for help I was taught to give it to God, lay it down, stop picking it up, pray harder, and I was told the enemy (demons) could only affect me as much as I let them.

Things I Tried to get Better:

Therapy: In therapy I was taught to integrate all parts of my personality and accept them all. I was told to let them express themselves and love them so that is what I did. I was very protective of some of them and accepted everything they said and did in my life.

Doctors and Medication: I tried numerous medications and saw numerous doctors. The medication often numbed me but did not help.

Books and Videos: I started reading books by Don Dickerman, and Derek Prince. I started learning about how demons can gain access to the lives of Christians.

Inner Healing: I learned many things during inner healing sessions, and I experienced a tremendous amount of healing from the past. I learned how to really trust Jesus and submit to Him. I learned about breaking soul ties, breaking generational sin, breaking inner vows and I also learned about cleaning out all of the things that could be inviting demons into my life (all items that have any connection to the occult: books, movies, jewelry, holidays, décor, etc.). I gained some freedom, but I began to get physically sicker and sicker to the point where I could not attend any more sessions.

What I Did to Gain Total Freedom from Mental Illness: Deliverance

I decided to set aside a week to fast and pray for healing. God also told me to reach out to others to pray with me, so I posted the request for prayer on Facebook. God also told me to have my parents come over and pray with me on one of the days.

Prior to our prayer sessions I began to work though deep, deep repentance for my personal sin as well as generational sin. I thought I understood repentance, but this was a whole new level. It was very specific, and I also felt it very deeply. It broke my heart that I had hurt the heart of my Father. Some of the repentance included: specific words I said about myself and others, lies I believed, the identity I began to claim as my own, lack of submission to God and my husband, aggression, anger, rage abuse (generational), not honoring father with words (even though he was abusive God showed me that I should have honored him by not speaking bad things about him), mistrust of God, the way used the abuse as an excuse for negative attitudes and rebellion, having occult themed (witches, magic, vampires, werewolves, fantasy) movies, books and décor in my home, rebellion, manipulation, and the negative ways I talked about others. Some of the generational sins God showed me to repent of were: occult involvement, not putting God first, idols, not keeping kids safe, stealing, turning away from God, rebellion, critical attitudes, and abuse. I poured my heart out; broken before the Lord. I poured me out and He poured Himself in-less of me and more of Him.

House Cleaning: I had already done a ton of house cleaning (getting rid of movies, books, décor), but God showed me a few more things to get rid of.

Day of Prayer Session

Before my parents came to pray, I sent them information about deliverance so they would be prepared. I already knew the issue I had was demons and that we needed to cast them out. When my parents came we asked God what was left that was giving the demons legal rights to my life. We also asked for an eviction notice for the demons once I had repented of the legal rights (open doors). Once I had repented my dad cast them out.

As soon as we were done, I knew I was completely different and that there was no mental illness at all. Every single symptom was gone. I went from having symptoms literally 24/7 to having zero symptoms. There were no more voices, no fog or depression, my eyes opened wider, and I could walk without feeling like I was carrying weights and being held down.

This is a very short version of my testimony. If this relates to you or anyone you know please watch my full testimony video (link below). You can also reach out to me for any questions, help and prayer!! I would love to pray with you for your deliverance.

Click the link to hear my full testimony: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xYNhREPV6Fk&t=88s

Contact Info:

Email: fullnessofjoyministry@gmail.com

FaceBook: Ministry Page: Fullness of Joy Ministry https://www.facebook.com/nicholehensonfullnessofjoy

Ministry Group: Fullness of Joy Ministry: Deliverance, Healing, and Spiritual Warfare Q & A https://www.facebook.com/groups/351690279198647

Blessings,

Nichole Henson, Fullness of Joy Ministry