Sometimes it is so easy to forgive others, but we just cannot seem to offer the same forgiveness to ourselves. When we ask God to forgive us He cast it as far as the East is from the West (Psalm 103:12), but often we are the ones who cannot let it go. We let our failures and mistakes play over and over in our minds. We can get so focused on the past that we cannot step into our future.

I want to encourage you to lay down anger, bitterness, and regret from past choices and step out of the bondage of shame and guilt. We have to come to the place where we realize we usually do the best we can with what we have at the time. Years later it is so easy to look back on situations and beat yourself up for the choices, but we are not who we used to be. We change, we grow, and we mature in the Lord. The choices we made in our past would not be the same choices we would make today. We are not trying to make justifications for the choices, and we must fully own them, but we also must not get stuck in a pattern of beating ourselves up. If we do, we will never walk in the fullness of God and in the identity He has given us.

Tips to Forgiving Yourself

1. Pray and ask God to help you. Ask Him to heal any relationships that need mended and also to heal your heart of pain, trauma, and/or rejection. Surrender your past, and future to Him. Lay it all down at His feet and allow Him to mold you into who He created you to be.

2. If there are people you need to apologize to, sincerely apologize. Do not make excuses or justify your actions, just apologize. Once you have done that do not fall back into beating yourself up or fall back into old patterns. It is there choice whether or not they will forgive you. The only thing you can do is live a Godly life and show them through your actions that you have changed. Make sure the relationship does not fall into patterns of you being manipulated because you are always trying to make up for the past. Also, make sure you are not operating in manipulation trying to make them feel sorry for you and forgive you. All relationships must be based on open and honest conversations.

3. Do not spend anytime dwelling on the should ofs, could ofs, and what ifs. The past is gone and there is no amount of thinking and playing it over in our heads that will change anything. Do not spend hours analyzing it and going over the situations in you mind. As soon as the thoughts come you must dismiss them and move on. Be present and future focused, not living in the past.

4. Do not let the enemy beat you up over your past choices. The enemy will always try to condemn us and make us run from God, but God will convict us to draw us toward Him. Once you have repented of the mistakes walk in that forgiveness and refuse to let the enemy cover you in condemnation, guilt and shame. When the voices of the enemy tries to speak guilt, shame, and condemnation into your life verbally tell them to stop and leave you alone in the name of Jesus. Stand your ground and refuse to let them beat you up.

Blessings,

Nichole Henson, Fullness of Joy Ministry

Email: fullnessofjoyministry@gmail.com

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