Proverbs 13:12 “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but desire fulfilled is a tree of life.”

When we pray for things and do not see our prayers being answered we can get to a place where we feel like the answers are never going to happen. When we get to this place it can lead to a sick heart which can lead to faith issues.

Things that Can Cause Hope Deferred

Timing Issues in Prayer: There are times we pray for things for a very long time, and yet we do not see those prayers being answered. We may feel like God is not hearing us or He is hearing, but not moving. For example, chronic sickness, lost loved ones, financial issues, relationships, etc. This can cause us to get to a place of frustration, anger, bitterness, and self-hatred. We may start to feel like something is wrong with us because our prayers do not seem to work. We may even stop praying because we feel like our prayers do not matter.

Death of a Dream: God may have birthed a dream in our hearts years ago, but time and circumstances may seem to continue getting in the way of those dreams being fulfilled. We may get to the point where we feel like we heard wrong, we missed it, or the dream is dead. We may even give up on those dreams and bury them so far in the ground they seem like they can never live again.

Rejection/Abandonment: When we feel rejected by others and/or God we can end up hopeless. We can feel worthless and like no one understands us or loves us. We may give up on ourselves, God and others.

False Accusations: When others falsely attack us we can end up feeling angry, discouraged, bitter and lose hope in the situation. We can feel like God could have intervened but when we cannot see Him working we may feel like He let us down.

Examples of Hope Deferred from the Bible

Abraham Sarah: They had tried to have a child for years. So long in fact that Abraham ended up having a child with one of his servants because they had given up on Sarah being able to conceive. 

Genesis 17: 15-22 “Then God said to Abraham, “As for Sarai your wife, you shall not call her name Sarai, but Sarah shall be her name. I will bless her, and indeed I will give you a son by her. Then I will bless her, and she shall be a mother of nations; kings of peoples will come from her.” Then Abraham fell on his face and laughed, and said in his heart, “Will a child be born to a man one hundred years old? And will Sarah, who is ninety years old, bear a child?” And Abraham said to God, “Oh that Ishmael might live before You!” ¹⁹ But God said, “No, but Sarah your wife will bear you a son, and you shall call his name Isaac; and I will establish My covenant with him for an everlasting covenant for his descendants after him. As for Ishmael, I have heard you; behold, I will bless him, and will make him fruitful and will multiply him exceedingly. He shall become the father of twelve princes, and I will make him a great nation. But My covenant I will establish with Isaac, whom Sarah will bear to you at this season next year.” When He finished talking with him, God went up from Abraham.

Genesis 18: 9-15 “Then they said to him, “Where is Sarah your wife?” And he said, “There, in the tent.” He said, “I will surely return to you at this time next year; and behold, Sarah your wife will have a son.” And Sarah was listening at the tent door, which was behind him. Now Abraham and Sarah were old, advanced in age; Sarah was past childbearing. Sarah laughed to herself, saying, “After I have become old, shall I have pleasure, my lord being old also?” And the Lord said to Abraham, “Why did Sarah laugh, saying, ‘Shall I indeed bear a child, when I am so old?’ Is anything too difficult for the Lord? At the appointed time I will return to you, at this time next year, and Sarah will have a son.”Sarah denied it however, saying, “I did not laugh”; for she was afraid. And He said, “No, but you did laugh.”

She had waited so long to conceive that hope deferred had caused her to laugh and doubt when she was told she would have a baby. She was told that she was going to get what she had wanted for years, but she was not joyful because she had already moved passed the place of hope.

Genesis 21: 1-7 “Then the Lord took note of Sarah as He had said, and the Lord did for Sarah as He had promised. So, Sarah conceived and bore a son to Abraham in his old age, at the appointed time of which God had spoken to him. Abraham called the name of his son who was born to him, whom Sarah bore to him, Isaac. Then Abraham circumcised his son Isaac when he was eight days old, as God had commanded him. Now Abraham was one hundred years old when his son Isaac was born to him. Sarah said, “God has made laughter for me; everyone who hears will laugh with me.” And she said, “Who would have said to Abraham that Sarah would nurse children? Yet I have borne him a son in his old age.”

Zacharias: The Father of John the Baptist

He and Elizabeth had given up on having a child and they had lost hope. So much so that when the angel told him he would have a child his response was doubt.

Luke 1:5-24 “In the days of Herod, king of Judea, there was a priest namedZacharias, of the division of Abijah; and he had a wife from the daughters of Aaron, and her name was Elizabeth. They were both righteous in the sight of God, walking blamelessly in all the commandments and requirements of the Lord. But they had no child, because Elizabeth was barren, and they were both advanced in years. Now it happened that while he was performing his priestly service before God in the appointed order of his division, according to the custom of the priestly office, he was chosen by lot to enter the temple of the Lord and burn incense. And the whole multitude of the people were in prayer outside at the hour of the incense offering. And an angel of the Lord appeared to him, standing to the right of the altar of incense. Zacharias was troubled when he saw the angel, and fear gripped him. But the angel said to him, “Do not be afraid, Zacharias, for your petition has been heard, and your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son, and you will give him the name John. You will have joy and gladness, and many will rejoice at his birth. For he will be great in the sight of the Lord; and he will drink no wine or liquor, and he will be filled with the Holy Spirit while yet in his mother’s womb. And he will turn many of the sons of Israel back to the Lord their God. It is he who will go as a forerunner before Him in the spirit and power of Elijah, to turn the hearts of the fathers back to the children, and the disobedient to the attitude of the righteous, so as to make ready a people prepared for the Lord.”

 Zacharias said to the angel, “How will I know this for certain? For I am an old man and my wife is advanced in years.” The angel answered and said to him, “I am Gabriel, who stands in the presence of God, and I have been sent to speak to you and to bring you this good news. And behold, you shall be silent and unable to speak until the day when these things take place, because you did not believe my words, which will be fulfilled in their proper time.” The people were waiting for Zacharias and were wondering at his delay in the temple. But when he came out, he was unable to speak to them; and they realized that he had seen a vision in the temple; and he kept making signs to them and remained mute.When the days of his priestly service were ended, he went back home. After these days Elizabeth his wife became pregnant, and she kept herself in seclusion for five months, saying, “This is the way the Lord has dealt with me in the days when He looked with favor upon me, to take away my disgrace among men.”

He is being told that his child is going to do all these amazing things, but he could not receive the truth of the message because of the doubt that clouded his vision. Doubt can block our hearing and seeing. The answer can be right in front of us, but we cannot see it because all we can hear and see is doubt.

David:

He was doing the right thing, but King Saul became jealous and wanted him dead. David did not deserve the hate of Saul, but he received it all the same.

Psalms 142:3-4 “When my spirit was overwhelmed within me, You knew my path. In the way where I walk. They have hidden a trap for me.  Look to the right and see; For there is no one who regards me; There is no escape for me; No one cares for my soul.

Psalms 142:7 “Bring my soul out of prison, So that I may give thanks to Your name;
The righteous will surround me, For You will deal bountifully with me.”

Effects/Symptoms of Hope Deferred:

Depression: When we do not see our prayers being answered we can easily fall into despair if we are not on guard against it. We can start believing the lies of the enemy: it will never happen, life will always be this way, God does not care, the situation is hopeless, etc.

Substance Abuse/Addictions: We can fall into this trip trying to cover and mask the pain we are experiencing.

Faith Issues:  James 1: 5-8 “But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But he must ask in faith without any doubting, for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind. For that man ought not to expect that he will receive anything from the Lord, being a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.”

When we lose faith and trust in God we often turn to other things and shift our trust to them. We look somewhere, other than God, for the answer. We stop depending on Him and we often become angry with Him for not answering our prayers. We may not say it out loud, but our hearts are angry with Him. I knew God could, but there were times I doubted He would for me. I would see others getting prayers answered and I felt like something was wrong with me that He could not/would not answer me.

Trust Issues: Faith and trust go hand in hand. When we feel like God did not intervene on our behalf we can stop trusting Him. We may decide to rely on ourselves and feel like we are the only ones who will not let us down. When we lack trust in God we also lack submission to Him because we will never fully submit to someone we do not trust with our lives.  

Discouragement/Distraction: We can easily fall into discouragement and allow distractions to creep in. Before we know it we may be completely derailed in our walk with the Lord.

Bitterness/Anger: We can become angry with God and/or others. We can use the situation to justify our actions and even feel like we have the right to be angry and bitter.

Fear: Fear can be debilitating; it can freeze us in our tracks and immobilize all progress. Fear of what if this never changes, what if I get worse and do not get well, what if God isn’t listening to me, what if I never see my answer. The what ifs can get us on a hamster wheel that can cost us years.

Take matters into our own hands: Sometimes we get tired of waiting on God, so we try to fix it, or make something happen. We can create an Ismael just like Abraham and Sarah. They had tried and tried to have a child, but it was not happening. Sarah got tired of waiting and told Abraham to have sex with her maid so he could have a child. He did but then Sarah became jealous and hated child and the child’s mother. Genesis 16

When we act out of God’s will and try to make something happen in our time, and not His, we often end up hating the consequences we are stuck with.

Some examples are:

Spouse: We give up on God sending one, so we just pick who we want.

Health: We put all our faith and trust in doctors and stop asking God to heal us.

Mental health: We put all our faith in therapist and medications and stop asking God to heal us. We even stop fighting the illnesses and just accept them as part of who we are.

Job/Career: Do we even consider asking God what He wants us to do?

We often try to break down doors that He has closed, never considering they may be closed for our benefit.

How to Restore Hope

Faith: We must guard and build our faith. That is the first step towards rebuilding our hope. Hebrew 11:1 “Now faith is the assurance (title deed, confirmation) of things hoped for (divinely guaranteed), and the evidence of things not seen [the conviction of their reality—faith comprehends as fact what cannot be experienced by the physical senses].” There are a few ways to stir up our faith. One, look back at all God had brought you through, get into the Word and read about How He moved on behalf of His people, and listen to the testimonies of others, but do not get bitter when you see what God is doing for others. Keep in mind and focus on the fact that what He does for them He will do for you! His blessings are for all His children. 

Tear Down All Idols: We must totally destroy them, crush them, and burn them to the ground. We cannot just try to hide them in a closet. Anything that takes the place of God in our lives must go. He must be on the throne of our lives and nothing else.

Repent of Mistrust: We must deal with any feelings of rejection, bitterness, fear, lies, and false judgments about God. We should have a very open and honest conversation with Him and lay out all our feelings before Him.

Worship and Praise: We should offer thanksgiving even when we do not feel like it, especially then. There is always something to be grateful for and it is those things we should focus on.

Speak Scripture Over Your Life: We must speak faith and life over our lives and there is no better place to find that than the Word of God. We should be speaking the truth of what God says about us over our lives daily. Proverbs 18:21 “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.

Get Your Thought Life Under Submission: Philippians 4:8 ^“Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything, worthy of praise, dwell on these things.” Our thoughts and words must line up with this scripture. If they do not we must pull them down.

Pulling Down Lofty Thoughts: 2 Corinthians 10:5 ^“We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ”

Fast: Fasting makes the flesh submit, draws us closer to the Lord, and shifts our focus away from our situation and puts it back where it belongs, on God.

Submission: We must totally submit to His will, His Plan, His purpose, and His timing. We must get to the place of fully laying our lives down at His feet.

Prayer: We cannot neglect our time with Him. Even if we do not feel Him or hear Him we must continue to press into Him and spend time at His feet.

Stay Persistent: No matter what happens we cannot give up.

Lessons: Ask yourself and God if there is a lesson in this midst of the situation. Is He trying to teach you something or grow you in a specific area?

Seek Deliverance: If you have done all the above and cannot find freedom you may want to consider deliverance prayer. The symptoms/effects of hope deferred can open the door and create legal rights for the enemy. Which will cause the need for deliverance.

Rest in His Love: He loves you! He is not punishing you. He is drawing you to Him. The enemy drives you away, but God draws you near. He is close to the broken hearted: Psalm 34:18 “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

Seek to hear from God: The words He speaks to you will be your lifeline.

Blessings,

Nichole Henson, Fullness of Joy Ministry