Pride says I know what is better for me. Pride can often lead to self-righteousness. It can lie to us and tell us we are just fine the way we are. Everyone else has the issue and not us. It is what causes us to see the issues in the lives of others, but never our own issues. It is always looking the other way and never inward. It will never cause you to hold the mirror in front of your own face and it will never point out the speck in your own eye. It dresses us all up pretty and fancy on the outside, but the inside is a different story. It avoids self-reflection and will respond in anger when challenged. It says, “How dare someone suggest we have a pride issue, sin issue, or attitude issue.”

Dangers of Pride: It says I can do it on my own and I do not need God. It can easily lead to self-righteousness, control, and manipulation. Self-righteousness causes us to try to rely on own righteousness and not the righteousness of Jesus. It causes us to eliminate the need for Him.

Types of Pride

Self-Exaltation: Gives credit to self.

James 1:16-17 ¹⁶ Do not be misled, my beloved brothers and sisters. ¹⁷ Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above; it comes down from the Father of lights [the Creator and Sustainer of the heavens], in whom there is no variation [no rising or setting] or shadow cast by His turning [for He is perfect and never changes].

Matthew 23:12 Whoever exalts himself shall be humbled; and whoever humbles himself shall be raised to honor.

Ephesians 2:8-9 ⁸ For it is by grace [God’s remarkable compassion and favor drawing you to Christ] that you have been saved [actually delivered from judgment and given eternal life] through faith. And this [salvation] is not of yourselves [not through your own effort], but it is the [undeserved, gracious] gift of God; ⁹ not as a result of [your] works [nor your attempts to keep the Law], so that no one will [be able to] boast or take credit in any way [for his salvation].

Self-Promotion: It wants credit from others and only does good deeds when it can be seen. If the camera is rolling, they are all about helping others, teaching, or whatever to keep the spotlight on themselves.

Matthew 6:1-2 6 “Be [very] careful not to do your good deeds publicly, to be seen by men; otherwise you will have no reward [prepared and awaiting you] with your Father who is in heaven. ² “So whenever you give to the poor and do acts of kindness, do not blow a trumpet before you [to advertise it], as the hypocrites do [like actors acting out a role] in the synagogues and in the streets, so that they may be honored and recognized and praised by men. I assure you and most solemnly say to you, they [already] have their reward in full.

Self-Justification: This kind of pride expects credit from God. We do good things to get credit from God and have Him look at us as if we are something. It says, “Look God I did all of this. Look I did all of this for you, aren’t you proud of me because I am so great.”

Matthew 5:3 ³ “Blessed [spiritually prosperous, happy, to be admired] are the poor in spirit [those devoid of spiritual arrogance, those who regard themselves as insignificant], for theirs is the kingdom of heaven [both now and forever].

Luke 18:10-14 ¹⁰ “Two men went up into the temple [enclosure] to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. ¹¹ The Pharisee stood [ostentatiously] and began praying to himself [in a self-righteous way, saying]: ‘God, I thank You that I am not like the rest of men—swindlers, unjust (dishonest), adulterers—or even like this tax collector. ¹² I fast twice a week; I pay tithes of all that I get.’ ¹³ But the tax collector, standing at a distance, would not even raise his eyes toward heaven, but was striking his chest [in humility and repentance], saying, ‘God, be merciful and gracious to me, the [especially wicked] sinner [that I am]!’ ¹⁴ I tell you, this man went to his home justified [forgiven of the guilt of sin and placed in right standing with God] rather than the other man; for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but he who humbles himself [forsaking self-righteous pride] will be exalted.”

False Pride: It tears others down to make the person feel better about themselves because false pride mask low self-worth. They compare themselves to those around them and point out all the faults of others so they can feel better about themselves.

Symptoms of Pride

Fault-Finding: We find the faults of others while at the same time we are blind to our own. We are exalted above others, and we look down our noses at them. We may say things like, “I would never be like that, I would never struggle with that, why can’t they just understand like I do, what can they not grasp the same knowledge.”

A Harsh Spirit: Pride causes us to speak of the sins of others with contempt, irritation, frustration, or judgment. It belittles the struggles of others and refuses to understand their point of view or feel empathy. We can even pray for others from this place saying “Lord, please change them so they will not bother me anymore, make them what I want them to be.”

Superficial: Pride causes us to worry so much about what others think about us that we refuse to show them who we really are. We keep everyone at arm’s length and only offer superficial connections. We make sure to hide the sins in our lives because we do not want anyone to see any of our struggles. We want to appear as if we have it all together, do not need help, and that we live superior lives.

Defensiveness: Pride makes excuses to ourselves and those around us. It justifies our behavior and never holds us accountable. We feel attacked when others try to point out any issues we are dealing with, especially pride issues. We become defensive and often go into attack mode. We protect our sense of image at all costs.

Lack Humility Before God: Pride has no issue with boldness before God, but it lacks the humility to stand before Him. We want to bust down the door to His throne room because we feel justified to approach Him in ourselves and not based on being justified by Christ. We come our own authority which is never enough. In ourselves we are not worthy to approach the Father. It is through Jesus that we may approach God. Lack of humility blocks us from taking a real look at ourselves.

Desperation for Attention: Pride feeds on attention. It will do anything to keep us in the spotlight and feeling good about ourselves. It will attract others to us to tell us how great we are. We can often overextend ourselves because we love getting told how great we are when we complete the task at hand or because we want to look like we have unlimited abilities.

Neglecting Others: Pride only wants to connect with people that will benefit it. It is looking for people to meet its needs and wants. It is not concerned about giving to others and putting others first. It will seek out those in power and notoriety to link with while ignoring the poor and broken (unless it is a photo op). Pride struggles to empathize with the sorrows of others and feels jealous about the victory of others.

Self-Pity: Pride creates feelings of self-pity when we are not praised. It starts to grumble and complain when others do not see and acknowledge how great we are. It can try to turn us into a victim when we do not get acknowledged like we think we should.

Avoidance: It will often cause us to avoid people who we view as better than ourselves. We want to be the big fish in the small pond, so we avoid being around others we view as superior. Pride wants to be the smartest and best in the room and there is no room for competition.

How to Break Pride:

Recognize: The first step is to recognize and admit that you have a pride issue. We must get really honest with ourselves and ask the Lord to show us any areas where pride may be lurking. It is sneaky and it loves to disguise itself as other issues.

Lies: Identify the lies you have accepted as truth. Replace them with the Word of God.

Confess and Pray: Once you have recognized the issue and replaced the lies with the truth confess the pride to God and pray. Ask Him to remove the root of pride and ask Him to forgive you for letting it take root in the first place. Continue to pray daily for Him to remove any pride that is trying to take root.

Psalm 139:23-24 ²³ Search me [thoroughly], O God, and know my heart;
Test me and know my anxious thoughts; ²⁴ And see if there is any wicked or hurtful way in me,
And lead me in the everlasting way.

Observant: Be on guard to make sure you do not fall back into pride. Whatever areas cause it to try to come back, avoid until you are stronger. You may have to remove yourself from the spotlight for a while. Whatever fed the pride, avoid. You must starve it. Whatever we feed grows. If we feed pride it will grow, but we can purposefully starve it and begin to walk in humility.

Humility: We must put others first and resist false humility.

Motives: Examine your motives and make sure they are coming from a place void of pride and self-gratification.

Compliments: Learn how to take them well without them creating pride in yourself. Do not get stuck on what others think about you and what they say about you. Focus on what God thinks about you and if He would be happy with your actions, motives, and thoughts. Point everything in your life to the cross. Everything that is good and worthwhile in us is from Him.

Heart: Everything goes back to the heart. Where is your heart? What is in your heart? Deal with any and every heart issue that does not line up with the Word of God.

James 4:8 ⁸ Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.

I want to leave you with something very personal that the Lord spoke to me a few days ago because it so true for all of us. He told me to always guard against pride because He cannot use me if pride is present. He told me to always remember I am just the vessel, and He is the wine that flows though the vessel. Without Him I am just a cracked, old, empty vessel.

This is true for every single one of us. The world will tell us that we need this and that to build us up, we need pride in ourselves, in our jobs, in our homes, in our cars in our abilities, but that is the opposite of what the Bible says.

The Bible says

Proverbs 11:2 When pride comes [boiling up with an arrogant attitude of self-importance], then come dishonor and shame, But with the humble [the teachable who have been chiseled by trial and who have learned to walk humbly with God] there is wisdom and soundness of mind.

Proverbs 16:18 Pride goes before destruction, And a haughty spirit before a fall.

Romans 12:16 Live in harmony with one another; do not be haughty [conceited, self-important, exclusive], but associate with humble people [those with a realistic self-view]. Do not overestimate yourself.

The world says we must put ourselves first and take care of ourselves first, but the Bible says to put others first. The world, and sometimes the church, points to self-care, self-love, all about self. I am not saying that we should walk around beating ourselves up, but we are called to put other first and love others. We are not called to be focused on self.

Philippians 2:3 Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit [through factional motives, or strife], but with [an attitude of] humility [being neither arrogant nor self-righteous], regard others as more important than yourselves.

1 Peter 5:5 Likewise, you younger men [of lesser rank and experience], be subject to your elders [seek their counsel]; and all of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another [tie on the servant’s apron], for God is opposed to the proud [the disdainful, the presumptuous, and He defeats them], but He gives grace to the humble.

James 4:10 Humble yourselves [with an attitude of repentance and insignificance] in the presence of the Lord, and He will exalt you [He will lift you up, He will give you purpose].

Final Thought

1 Corinthians 1:26-29 ²⁶ Just look at your own calling, believers; not many [of you were considered] wise according to human standards, not many powerful or influential, not many of high and noble birth. ²⁷ But God has selected [for His purpose] the foolish things of the world to shame the wise [revealing their ignorance], and God has selected [for His purpose] the weak things of the world to shame the things which are strong [revealing their frailty]. ²⁸ God has selected [for His purpose] the insignificant (base) things of the world, and the things that are despised and treated with contempt, [even] the things that are nothing, so that He might reduce to nothing the things that are, ²⁹ so that no one may [be able to] boast in the presence of God.

Blessings,

Nichole Henson, Fullness of Joy Ministry