Sometimes life doesn’t look anything like we thought it would and things like divorce, sickness, loss of job, being passed over, relationship issues, being left out, bullied, people coming against us, feeling like God is not hearing us/our prayers going unanswered, being falsely accused, being rejected, abandoned, church hurt, etc. occur.

These difficult situations can often lead to discouragement.

I will be discussing examples of discouragement in the Bible, effects of discouragement, root causes, and how to over come it.

Biblical Definition: without heart or spirit, despondent, disturbed in mind, lose courage

Biblical Examples of Discouragement

Woman with Sickness for 12 years Mark 5:25-34

Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego: Daniel 3

Paul and Silas: Acts 16:16-40

Death of Lazarus John 11:1-44

Daniel in the Lions Den: Daniel 6

Joseph: His brothers: Genesis 37 Potiphar’s Wife: Genesis 39

David and Saul: 1 Samuel 18-31

Paul and his suffering: 2 Corinthians 11:25

Job

Esther

Jonah

Children of Israel in the wilderness: Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy

Root Causes of Discouragement

Situations we do not understand: Many times things happen and we just cannot make sense of them. We try to figure them out, but we end up bitter, angry, frustrated, and discouraged because we just cannot see the full picture and we only see the situation from our vantage point.

Loss: death of a loved one, divorce, broken relationships, etc.

Attacks of the enemy: We have an enemy who only thinks about killing, stealing, and destroying our lives. John 10:10. Demons hate us, and we are in a spiritual war that we are often unaware of.

Wilderness season: There are times we are wondering around in the wilderness just like the Children of Israel in the Old Testament. We may be there way longer than intended because of our response to the situation.

Rejection: Rejection from loved ones, church, friends, spouse, job, etc.

Feeling like God has failed us, doesn’t hear us, or won’t help us.

Effects and Symptoms of Discouragement: depression, anxiety, anger, despondency, anger, resentment, bitterness, broken relationship with God, damage to faith, self-hatred, isolation

Overcoming Discouragement

The first step is to recognize what situation or event led to the discouragement.

We often face situations, but really do not understand the root cause of what created them.

Examples of Root Causes of Situations

Test/Trial

There are times God will put us in a situation to see if we are going to walk out our faith, if we are going to stand firm, and if are we going keep our hearts close to Him. He wants to know if we are going to look to Him or if we are going to start leaning on our own understanding and lose our faith.

Sometimes we are in a test and God is wanting us to learn something and we are not learning what it is He is trying to show us. Maybe He is ready to take us to a new level in Him or a new level of ministry or a new level in our walk, or a new level in our marriage, but there are some things He must remove first.  Some purification that needs to be done and He is using a test, trial or time in the wilderness to make us what He wants us to be, to look and act more like Him. Maybe He is giving us a chance to make Him the focus of our lives again. Maybe we lost our focus and He, by His grace and mercy, is giving us the chance to refocus.

1 Peter 1: 6-7 In this you rejoice greatly, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials, so that the genuineness of your faith, which is much more precious than gold which is perishable, even though tested and purified by fire, may be found to result in [your] praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.

Zechariah 13:9 And I will put this third into the fire, and refine them as one refines silver, and test them as gold is tested. They will call upon my name, and I will answer them. I will say, ‘They are my people’; and they will say, ‘The Lord is my God.’”

James 1: 2-4 Consider it nothing but joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you fall into various trials. Be assured that the testing of your faith [through experience] produces endurance [leading to spiritual maturity, and inner peace]. And let endurance have its perfect result and do a thorough work, so that you may be perfect and completely developed [in your faith], lacking in nothing.

Note: Many times, we walk through difficult situations that God does not create, but He will use those experiences to grow us. We choose if we allow Him to use the situation to change us or if we allow the enemy to use it to change us.

Spiritual Warfare: We have an enemy (demons) who wants to kill, steal, and destroy us. John 10:10.

Consequences of our own actions: There are times we go through difficult situations as a direct result of poor choices we have made.

We live in a fallen would and because of that we are surrounded by evil, death, deterioration, and difficulty.

Free will and choices of others: Every single person has free will to choose to live for God or not. There are times we face difficult situations because of the choice of others to not live Godly lives.

Next, I want to discuss the victimhood mentality because it can be your worse enemy. It will keep you stuck in the trauma and pain and never allow you to move forward in life.

Symptoms of Victimhood Mentality:

You feel like life just happens to you and you have no control. You feel helpless, unheard, and unseen.

You go from one crisis to the next.

You identify as a victim. It is always on your mind, you spend a lot of time thinking about the trauma, you focus on the effects of the trauma in your life, and you constantly look for other connections based on those traumas, illnesses, or other negative life experiences.

You join a ton of online groups that focus on the trauma, you talk about it all the time, you think about it all the time, and you became fixated on it. It is what you post about all the time, and it takes more of your focus than anything else in your life.

When you hear the stories of things others go through your go to reaction is to one up them and you tell yourself how much worse your situation was.

You feel like no one else gets it and if they really knew what all you have been through, they would understand why you are stuck there. You also justify your negative behaviors to God, others, and yourself. You feel like you get a free pass for the negative behaviors because of everything you have been through.

You feel like life will never change, and you will never get over the effects of the trauma. You think it is impossible to fully heal.

Self-pity is a huge hallmark of a victimhood mentality.

Breaking the Victimhood Mentality

Verbally break Identity and agreement with it.  

Stop identifying yourself as a victim.

The situations happened to you, but it is not who you are. You are not broken or damaged. You are a new creation in Jesus Christ. The trauma does not get to dictate who you are.

Stop focusing on the past and do not let it dominate your life.

Give zero entertainment to the negative voices in your head. Do not focus on them, analyze them, or sit with them even for a moment. Kick them out in the name of Jesus.  

Create your identity around who God says you are and peel off the identity of being a victim.

Close any doors to the enemy the abuse/trauma created.

Kick out any demons that are attached to your life through deliverance.

Take authority over any demons that are trying to use the abuse/trauma to torment you.

Process the trauma with Jesus. Sit at His feet with the pain, ask Him to uproot it and replace it with His truth, love, and healing.

Change the way you talk about yourself. We have the power of life and death in our words. Speak life over yourself: “I am more than a conqueror through Jesus Christ, I have the mind of Christ, I am a new creation in Him, etc.”

If you continue to speak words about being a victim you will continue to be a victim, but if you speak words about being an overcomer you will be an over comer. Your feelings may take some time to catch up to the truth, but don’t stop speaking truth over your life.

You are not stuck in life. You have choices. You may not like the consequences of the choices, but you still have them. You must change your perspective. Sometimes we need to get out of ourselves and out of our heads and stop focusing on ourselves, what we are going through, how bad we have it, and switch our focus to what is going right in our lives, on God, His Word, and His plan for our lives.

Ask God who you are, who He created you to be, what plans He has for you, and how He sees you.

Break Negative Thoughts and Patterns Related to the Trauma: We often end up with very negative feelings, patterns, and behaviors because of the abuse. It is helpful to first recognize those negative areas and then sit with the Lord. Ask Him to take you to the root cause of the attitude, feeling, or behavior. Once He shows you the root cause ask Him to remove the root and replace it with His healing, peace, and love. Once He brings His healing it is then up to you to break the negative pattern. Once He heals the area do not let the enemy lie to you and say it is not healed. Do not let the enemy use the past pain, that is now healed, to beat you up. Command the demons to be silent in the name of Jesus. Do not allow the trauma to play over and over in your head, command them to stop in the name of Jesus.

Change Perspective and Focus: You must break the pattern of seeing through the lens of the trauma because that can create false realities.

Colossians 3:2 Set your mind and keep focused habitually on the things above [the heavenly things], not on things that are on the earth [which have only temporal value].

We must be kingdom focused, our minds are our territory and we have the authority to dictate what goes on in our mind. We are responsible for our thought life and our responses to the storms of life.

More Practical Tips for overcoming discouragement

Base your actions on Truth and not feelings. Feelings lie and His Truth doesn’t.

Exodus 32: 1-14 Moses was on the mountain with God and the people got inpatient waiting on him to come down, so they made an idol to worship. This is what can happen when we base our relationship with God on emotions and not faith and truth. Our walk with God must be built on faith and not feeling.

Refuse the lies of the enemy every single time. Do not allow the demons to whisper even on lie to you. Take authority over your mind and kick out every negative thought.

Identity: Only except who God says you are, know who you are Him, and who He is in you

Ephesians 2:10; Psalm 139:13-16

Deliverance as needed.  

Speak life and not death. Break out of being negative and critical. Look for the good things in life and in situations.

Focus on Jesus. Keep your eyes on Him and not the storm and situation.  

Know who He is: We must have a firm foundation in God and know who He is. We find Him in His Word and prayer time. We must have it settled who He is and not allow the situation to shake our foundation in Him. What is your perception of Him? If it is not found in the Bible, it needs to be adjusted. He is faithful, kind, loving, and patient. We cannot allow the discouragement to dictate who He is. We tell the discouragement who our God is!

Prayer: Don’t allow the discouragement to steal your prayer life, you need Him more and not less.

Demons will use discouragement, so it is very important to understand spiritual warfare and use all weapons of warfare against their attacks.  Verbally confront the demons and command their attacks to stop in the name of Jesus.

Authority through Jesus: We have authority over the attacks of the enemy through Jesus.

Luke 10:19 Listen carefully: I have given you authority [that you now possess] to tread on serpents and scorpions, and [the ability to exercise authority] over all the power of the enemy (Satan); and nothing will [in any way] harm you.

Perspective: We must stay kingdom focused and not allow discouragement to pull our focus away from God.

Colossians 3:2 Set your mind and keep focused habitually on the things above [the heavenly things], not on things that are on the earth [which have only temporal value].

We sometimes get the idea in our minds that if we serve God, and are doing things for Him, nothing bad will happen to us, but that is not Biblical. We are told over and over in the Word that we will face difficult situations. What we are promised is that we will never walk through those times alone.

We will face persecutions, tribulations, test, trials, and wilderness experiences. Jesus is our example in life, in all things, but we can also learn a lot from His followers. When we look at the life of the 12 disciples and other followers of Jesus, we see many were jailed, beaten, and killed. They did not have perfect and easy lives.  

Life of Paul: He was tortured and then beheaded.

Paul’s response to trials:

Romans 5:3-5 And not only this, but [with joy] let us exult in our sufferings and rejoice in our hardships, knowing that hardship (distress, pressure, trouble) produces patient endurance; ⁴ and endurance, proven character (spiritual maturity); and proven character, hope and confident assurance [of eternal salvation]. ⁵ Such hope [in God’s promises] never disappoints us, because God’s love has been abundantly poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

Other Scripture

John 16:33 I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have [perfect] peace. In the world you have tribulation and distress and suffering, but be courageous [be confident, be undaunted, be filled with joy]; I have overcome the world.” [My conquest is accomplished, My victory abiding.]

James 1:2-3 Consider it nothing but joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you fall into various trials. Be assured that the testing of your faith [through experience] produces endurance [leading to spiritual maturity, and inner peace].

1 Peter 4:12 Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal which is taking place to test you [that is, to test the quality of your faith], as though something strange or unusual were happening to you.

The Bible is here for us to prepare us. It is our guide for life and every situation. It says we will face hard times, but it also prepares us to handle those situations when they come. We have control over our response when the difficult situations occur. Our response will either make or break our relationship with God. It is up to us which we choose.

Purpose: We must seek His purpose and walk in total surrender to Him.

1 Corinthians 6:20 You were bought with a price [you were actually purchased with the precious blood of Jesus and made His own]. So then, honor and glorify God with your body.

Romans 12:1Therefore I urge you, brothers and sisters, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies [dedicating all of yourselves, set apart] as a living sacrifice, holy and well-pleasing to God, which is your rational (logical, intelligent) act of worship.

Do not get stuck trying to figure it all out. There will always be things we do not understand, and we cannot allow those situations to create discouragement.

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in and rely confidently on the Lord with all your heart And do not rely on your own insight or understanding. In all your ways know and acknowledge and recognize Him,
And He will make your paths straight and smooth [removing obstacles that block your way].

Word of God: Read and speak the Word of God over your life. Also use it for prayer and spiritual warfare.   

Proverbs 18:21 “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.

Our Past: We are not stuck in who we were, it is possible for us to change and grow in the Lord

By renewing our mind.

Do not accept false labels. You are who God says you are—nothing more and nothing less.

Maintain your hope. It is your lifeline.

Faith: We must guard and build our faith. That is the first step towards rebuilding our hope.

Hebrew 11:1 “Now faith is the assurance (title deed, confirmation) of things hoped for (divinely guaranteed), and the evidence of things not seen [the conviction of their reality—faith comprehends as fact what cannot be experienced by the physical senses].”

Stir it up, look back at what all God has done in the past, and get in the Word of God.  

Tear Down All Idols: We must totally destroy them, crush them, and burn them to the ground. Anything that takes the place of God in our lives must go. He must be on the throne of our lives and nothing or anyone else.

Repent of Mistrust: Deal with any feelings of rejection, bitterness, fear, lies, and false judgments about God. We should have a very open and honest conversation with Him and lay out all our feelings before Him and hold nothing back.

Praise and Worship: We must offer thanksgiving even when we do not feel like it, especially then. There is always something to be grateful for and it is those things we should focus on.

Get Your Thought Life Under Submission: Philippians 4:8 ^“Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything, worthy of praise, dwell on these things.” Our thoughts and words must line up with this scripture. If they do not, we must pull them down.

Pulling Down Lofty Thoughts: 2 Corinthians 10:5 ^“We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ”

Fast: Fasting makes the flesh submit, draws us closer to the Lord, and shifts our focus away from our situation and puts it back where it belongs—on God.

Stay Persistent: No matter what happens we cannot give up.

Rest in His Love: He loves you! He is not punishing you. He is drawing you to Him. The enemy drives you away, but God draws you near. He is close to the broken hearted: Psalm 34:18 “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

Seek to hear from God: The words He speaks to you will be your lifeline.

Cast Down Imaginations/Arguments: Pull down every single imagination and thought that does not line up with the Word of God. We cannot allow them a second in our minds. Every time a thought comes that is not truth, we must take it captive and force it out. We cannot allow the lies to linger for a moment. They have no business in our minds, and they must be evicted immediately.

Corinthians 10:5 says: We are destroying sophisticated arguments and every exalted and proud thing that sets itself up against the [true] knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought and purpose captive to the obedience of Christ, 

Focus on the Positive: We should always look for the good things in life and not always focus on the negative. It takes effort to concentrate and think on good things, but this is a habit that will literally change our lives. We must think on things that are true things real, truthful, and honest.

Walk in the Spirit Daily: Galatians 5:25 “If we live by the Spirit, let’s follow the Spirit as well.”

Crucify the Flesh: We do this through prayer, fasting, praise and worship, and a firm dedication to laying down our own personal desires, especially the ones that are contrary to the Word of God. It is a daily conscience choice to lay ourselves down and pick up our cross and follow Him.

Luke 9:23And He was saying to them all, “If anyone wishes to follow Me [as My disciple], he must deny himself [set aside selfish interests] and take up his cross daily [expressing a willingness to endure whatever may come] and follow Me [believing in Me, conforming to My example in living and, if need be, suffering or perhaps dying because of faith in Me].

Galatians 5:24 And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature together with its passions and appetites.

Galatians 5:16 But I say, walk habitually in the [Holy] Spirit [seek Him and be responsive to His guidance], and then you will certainly not carry out the desire of the sinful nature [which responds impulsively without regard for God and His precepts].

Galatians 2:20 I have been crucified with Christ [that is, in Him I have shared His crucifixion]; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body I live by faith [by adhering to, relying on, and completely trusting] in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.

Distractions: We cannot let the cares of life, or even doing work for Him, distract us from taking the time to sit at His feet. That time is vital to our walk with Him. We must learn to be silent/still in His presence and wait on Him. Sometimes it takes a while just sitting quietly in His presence before He begins to speak. We cannot get in a hurry, and we must still our minds to focus on Him. We must shut out the noise and cares of life and make Him our top priority.

Luke 10:39-42 ³⁹ She had a sister named Mary, who seated herself at the Lord’s feet and was continually listening to His teaching. ⁴⁰ But Martha was very busy and distracted with all of her serving responsibilities; and she approached Him and said, “Lord, is it of no concern to You that my sister has left me to do the serving alone? Tell her to help me and do her part.” ⁴¹ But the Lord replied to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and bothered and anxious about so many things; ⁴² but only one thing is necessary, for Mary has chosen the good part [that which is to her advantage], which will not be taken away from her.”

Holy Spirit: We must learn to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit and ask for His leading, teaching, correction, and guidance. We should verbally welcome Him into our lives daily. We can and should also ask Him to warn us when we are near deception and or sin. He wants to lead us in all truth, and we should be eager to follow.

John 14:25-26 ²⁵ “I have told you these things while I am still with you. ²⁶ But the Helper (Comforter, Advocate, Intercessor—Counselor, Strengthener, Standby), the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name [in My place, to represent Me and act on My behalf], He will teach you all things. And He will help you remember everything that I have told you.

John 16:13But when He, the Spirit of Truth, comes, He will guide you into all the truth [full and complete truth]. For He will not speak on His own initiative, but He will speak whatever He hears [from the Father—the message regarding the Son], and He will disclose to you what is to come [in the future].

Be imitators of God. We must seek to look and act more like Him. We must learn to be selfless, love like He loves, see others as He sees them, and have compassion like He has compassion. We should be praying daily to be more like Him. Our prayer should always be to have less of us and more of Him. We must also point to Him in all we do and accomplish.

Ephesians 5:1 Therefore become imitators of God [copy Him and follow His example], as well-beloved children [imitate their father]

1 Peter 2:21 For [as a believer] you have been called for this purpose, since Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you may follow in His footsteps.

John 3:30 He must increase [in prominence], but I must decrease.

Selfless and Not Selfish. We must point to Him in all things and understand any good in us comes from Him. We cannot be consumed with self. This is contrary to everything we are taught, but we must learn to shift the focus from ourselves and put it on Him and others. It is not about how many likes or follows we can get on social media, how much money we can make, our status, how smart we are, or how good we look. It is about how many people we can reach for the Lord and what we can do for Him and others.

Philippians 2:3-4 ³ Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit [through factional motives, or strife], but with [an attitude of] humility [being neither arrogant nor self-righteous], regard others as more important than yourselves. ⁴ Do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.

2 Timothy 3:1-5 3 But understand this, that in the last days dangerous times [of great stress and trouble] will come [difficult days that will be hard to bear]. ² For people will be lovers of self [narcissistic, self-focused], lovers of money [impelled by greed], boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy and profane, ³ [and they will be] unloving [devoid of natural human affection, calloused and inhumane], irreconcilable, malicious gossips, devoid of self-control [intemperate, immoral], brutal, haters of good, ⁴ traitors, reckless, conceited, lovers of [sensual] pleasure rather than lovers of God, ⁵ holding to a form of [outward] godliness (religion), although they have denied its power [for their conduct nullifies their claim of faith]. Avoid such people and keep far away from them.

The opposite of the above scripture is operating in humility and with a servant’s heart.

Put Him first. In all things He must be first. He will not accept second place in our lives. If we really want to walk in His fullness, He must be first in all things. We must spend time doing self-evaluations to make sure we are not putting anything or anyone above God. Do our lives really reflect Him being first? Does how we spend our time, our devotion, our thoughts, our relationships, etc. reflect Him being first?

Matthew 22:37 And Jesus replied to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’

Matthew 10:37-39 ³⁷ “He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me; and he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. ³⁸ And he who does not take his cross [expressing a willingness to endure whatever may come] and follow Me [believing in Me, conforming to My example in living and, if need be, suffering or perhaps dying because of faith in Me] is not worthy of Me. ³⁹ Whoever finds his life [in this world] will [eventually] lose it [through death], and whoever loses his life [in this world] for My sake will find it [that is, life with Me for all eternity].

Repentance: We must be quick to repent and keep our hearts soft. Letting a little sin in here and there will lead to a hard heart and we must always avoid letting that happen. We can get so desensitized to sin that we no longer even call it for what it is.

Ezekiel 36:26 Moreover, I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you, and I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.

Ephesians 4:18 ¹⁸ for their [moral] understanding is darkened and their reasoning is clouded; [they are] alienated and self-banished from the life of God [with no share in it; this is] because of the [willful] ignorance and spiritual blindness that is [deep-seated] within them, because of the hardness and insensitivity of their heart.

Hebrews 3:7-11 ⁷ Therefore, just as the Holy Spirit says, “Today if you hear His voice, ⁸ Do not harden your hearts as [your fathers did] in the rebellion [of Israel at Meribah], On the day of testing in the wilderness, ⁹ Where your fathers tried Me by testing [My forbearance and tolerance],
And saw My works for forty years [And found I stood their test]. ¹⁰ “Therefore I was angered with this generation, And I said, ‘They always go astray in their heart, And they did not know My ways [nor become progressively better and more intimately acquainted with them]’; ¹¹ So I swore [an oath] in My wrath, ‘They shall not enter My rest [the promised land].’”

1 John 1:9 If we [freely] admit that we have sinned and confess our sins, He is faithful and just [true to His own nature and promises], and will forgive our sins and cleanse us continually from all unrighteousness [our wrongdoing, everything not in conformity with His will and purpose].

Seek Deliverance: If you have done all the above and cannot find freedom you may want to consider deliverance (removing the legal rights of demons and having them verbally cast out) prayer. The symptoms and effects of discouragement can open the door and create legal rights for the enemy. Which will cause the need for deliverance.

Blessings,

Nichole Henson, Fullness of Joy Ministry