When People Hurt Us

A while back, when I was preparing an outline for a teaching video on forgiveness, I did a scripture search to see what all the Bible says about forgiveness. I was shocked at how many scriptures there are about the topic. I will include a few that I found.

Ephesians 4:32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Mark 11:25 And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.”

Matthew 6:15 But if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

Matthew 6:14-15 For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

Luke 6:37 Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven;

Colossians 3:13 Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.

Luke 6:27 But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you,

Matthew 6:12 And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.

Matthew 6:14 For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you,

Luke 17:3-4 Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.”

Matthew 18:21-35 Then Peter came to Him and asked, “Lord, how many times will my brother sin against me and I forgive him and let it go? Up to seven times?” 22 Jesus answered him, “I say to you, not up to seven times, but seventy times seven. 23 “Therefore the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wished to settle accounts with his slaves. 24 When he began the accounting, one who owed him 10,000 talents was brought to him. 25 But because he could not repay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and his children and everything that he possessed, and payment to be made. 26 So the slave fell on his knees and begged him, saying, ‘Have patience with me and I will repay you everything.’ 27 And his master’s heart was moved with compassion and he released him and forgave him [canceling] the debt. 28 But that same slave went out and found one of his fellow slaves who owed him a hundred denarii; and he seized him and began choking him, saying, ‘Pay what you owe!’ 29 So his fellow slave fell on his knees and begged him earnestly, ‘Have patience with me and I will repay you.’ 30 But he was unwilling, and he went and had him thrown in prison until he paid back the debt. 31 When his fellow slaves saw what had happened, they were deeply grieved, and they went and reported to their master [with clarity and in detail] everything that had taken place. 32 Then his master called him and said to him, ‘You wicked and contemptible slave, I forgave all that [great] debt of yours because you begged me. 33 Should you not have had mercy on your fellow slave [who owed you little by comparison], as I had mercy on you?’ 34 And in wrath his master turned him over to the torturers (jailers) until he paid all that he owed. 35 My heavenly Father will also do the same to [every one of] you, if each of you does not forgive his brother from your heart.”

So many times in life, at least in my life, when we get hurt it can be easy to feel justified in our anger, bitterness, and hard feelings toward the other person. I think that is our human (flesh) reaction. In those moments it isn’t easy to respond with the fruit of the Spirit.

Galatians 5:22-23 But the fruit of the Spirit [the result of His presence within us] is love [unselfish concern for others], joy, [inner] peace, patience [not the ability to wait, but how we act while waiting], kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such things there is no law.

However, unforgiveness can put us into bondage if we do not let it go and choose to forgive. It can easily destroy us from the inside out and it doesn’t hurt the other person at all. The Bible is clear if we want forgiveness from God we must first forgive everyone who has hurt us. That can be a tall order when you have been through trauma and abuse, but the thing that helps me most is to remind myself that forgiveness is a choice and not a feeling. Sometimes I have to choose it multiple times a day, when I am walking through a painful season, but eventually my feelings catch up to my choice. I also have to command the enemy (demons) to be silent in the name of Jesus because they will always try to point out how much the person has hurt me and all the reasons I should stay angry.

I want to encourage you to search your heart right now to see if there is anyone you need to forgive and that includes yourself. If there is someone take a moment to repent for holding on to the unforgiveness, release it fully to God, verbally choose to forgive, ask God to uproot all the pain connected to the situation, ask Him to replace the area with His healing, and then verbally command any demons that were attached to the unforgiveness to leave in the name of Jesus.

Blessings,

Nichole Henson

Fullness of Joy Ministry

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