The below testimony is written by Kelly Jeanne.

To be honest, I am torn between wanting to be done with the constant inner anguish, the tears, the anger, being looked at and treated like I’m crazy, having my name and reputation being dragged through the manure, the ridicule, and humiliation, along with the times I’ve been beaten and spit on. A lifetime of this has left my soul in tatters. On the other hand, I fear that if God decides to heal my brain and mind, thereby taking away all my pain and madness, I’ll forget my purpose in writing. If He ever decides to heal me to where I’m out and about, doing my thing, without a care in the world, the probability of not even caring to write about these things could be a reality. My desire to help others would no longer be a priority for me.

I know why He has allowed this to happen to me and I’ve known this for many years. You see, I’m an old hippie – not the sex, drugs, and rock rolls type – although all three have played a role at one time or another in my life. No, I’ve always been more of what was known as a ‘cerebral hippie’. I was very much into causes, social injustices, and educating people. These are all very noble pursuits to have, but the problem was I’ve always been very independent in my thinking, always inclined to stray from Him, with the real possibility of landing in hot water. Thankfully, in His infinite grace and mercy, He intervened each time, saving me from sure disaster.

Don’t get me wrong! I’m still that old hippie; still independent in my thoughts, but they are now tempered with age and my brand of foolish wisdom. I most definitely make better choices now – except for the occasional Death By Chocolate bowl of ice cream He sees fit to remind me that I don’t need. 🍧I’m such a rebel! Sorry, Lord… 🏃🏽‍♀️🔥⚡️👏 Anyway, He knew exactly what He was – still is – doing in my life. It’s very important that I remain where I am so my heart and mind can stay on these things, no matter how painful they are at times. This way, I can continue being a voice for others – and ultimately for Him.

Life is so full of paradoxes. When things happen in our lives that don’t make any sense, this is when we need to trust that there is a method to His (perceived) madness. He sees and knows everything. We only see and know what He wants us to.

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. Proverbs 3:5

The below portion is written by Nichole Henson.

So many times when we are facing difficult situations it is hard to see God in all of it or to even hear Him. There were so many times in my life that I ran from Him instead of running to Him.

I want to encourage those who are in a situation where God feels far away. Run to Him and not Him. Don’t allow misunderstanding, doubt, or fear to put a wedge between you and Him. Instead allow this season to deepen your faith in Him and grow your trust.

Blessings,

Nichole Henson

Fullness of Joy Ministry