Symptoms of Victimhood Mentality:

You feel like life happens to you and you have no control.

You are constantly going from one crisis to the next and you feel like “life” is out to get you.

You identify as a victim. It is always on your mind, you spend a lot of time thinking about the trauma, you focus on the effects of the trauma in your life, and you constantly look for other connections based on those traumas, illnesses, or other negative life experiences.

You join a ton of online groups that focus on trauma, you talk about it all the time, you think about it all the time, and you become fixated on it. It is what you post about all the time, and it takes more of your focus than anything else in your life.

When you hear the stories of the things others go through your go to reaction is to one up them and you tell yourself how much worse your situation was.

You use justification as an excuse for your negative feelings and attitudes. You feel like no one else gets it and if they really knew what all you have been through, they would understand why you are stuck where you are at.

Self-pity is a huge hallmark of a victimhood mentality.

Breaking the Victimhood Mentality

Identity: You have to break identity with it and refuse to let it be part of who are you. Stop identifying yourself as a victim. The trauma happened to you, but it is not who you are. It does not get to dictate who you are or who you become. Ask God who you are, who He created you to be, what plans He has for you, and how He sees you. He is your created and He is the only one who really knows who you are. Don’t accept the labels created from the trauma. It is not your identity. It happened to you, and it is not you. You are not broken and you are not damaged. That is a lie from the enemy. You are a new creation in Christ. Old things are passed away and all things are made new. Replace being a victim with what the Word of God says about you. Replace every single lie with the truth found in the Word.

Romans 8:37 Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors and gain an overwhelming victory through Him who loved us [so much that He died for us].

1 John 5:4 For everyone born of God is victorious and overcomes the world; and this is the victory that has conquered and overcome the world—our [continuing, persistent] faith [in Jesus the Son of God].

Ephesians 2:10 For we are His workmanship [His own master work, a work of art], created in Christ Jesus [reborn from above—spiritually transformed, renewed, ready to be used] for good works, which God prepared [for us] beforehand [taking paths which He set], so that we would walk in them [living the good life which He prearranged and made ready for us].

Psalm 139:13-16 For You formed my innermost parts; You knit me [together] in my mother’s womb. I will give thanks and praise to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from You, When I was being formed in secret, And intricately and skillfully formed [as if embroidered with many colors] in the depths of the earth. Your eyes have seen my unformed substance; And in Your book were all written The days that were appointed for me, When as yet there was not one of them [even taking shape].

Negative Thoughts: Give zero entertainment to the negative voices in your head. Do not focus on them, analyze them, or sit with them even for a moment. Kick them out. Create your identity around who God says you are and peel off the identity of being a victim.

Words: Change the way you talk about yourself. We have the power of life and death in our words. Speak life over yourself: I am more than a conqueror through Jesus Christ, I have the mind of Christ, I am a new creation in Him, etc. If we continue to speak words about being a victim we will continue to be a victim, but if we speak words about being an overcomer we will be an overcomer.

Move Forward in Life: We are not stuck in life. We all have choices. We may not like the consequences of the choices, but we still have them. We must change our perspective. Sometimes we need to get out of ourselves and out of our heads and stop focusing on ourselves, what we are going through, how bad we have it, and switch out focus to what is going right in our lives and on God, His Word, and His plan for our lives.

Break Negative Thoughts and Patterns Related to any Trauma: We often end up with very negative feelings, patterns, and behaviors as a result of the abuse. It is really helpful to first recognize those negative areas and then sit with the Lord. Ask Him to take you to the root cause of the attitude, feeling, or behavior. Once He shows you the root cause ask Him to remove the root and replace it with His healing, peace, and love. Once He brings His healing it is then up to you to break the negative pattern. Once He heals the area do not let the enemy lie to you and say it is not healed. Do not let the enemy use the past pain, that is now healed, to beat you up. Command the demons to be silent in the name of Jesus. Do not allow the trauma to play over and over in your head, command it to stop in the name of Jesus.

Change Perspective and Focus: You must break the pattern of seeing through the lens of the trauma because that can create false realities.

Colossians 3:2 Set your mind and keep focused habitually on the things above [the heavenly things], not on things that are on the earth [which have only temporal value].

Focus: We must be kingdom focused and not let the things of the temporal shift our focus form the eternal. The storms of life try to pull our focus away from God, His kingdom, and our kingdom purpose, but we must not allow that to happen. Our minds are our territory and we have the authority to dictate what goes on in our mind. We are responsible for our thought life and our responses to the storms of life.

Deliverance: Many times trauma creates open doors for demons in our lives. When that happens deliverance is needed to close those doors, remove legal rights, and cast the demons out in the name of Jesus.

Final Thoughts: Trauma creates lies in our lives. Lies about ourselves, God, and others. We have to tear down every single lie and replace it with the truth. The trauma happened to us and it is not part of who we are. We can heal to the point of the scars not even remaining. I used to think it was a sign of strength to show my scars, but the Lord showed me when He heals, He heals perfectly.

Blessings.
Nichole Henson

Fullness of Joy Ministry